Resources:

    Ferris, Caren (1980). A hug just isn't enough. Washington D.C.: Gallaudet University Press.

    Fin Facts (1999) A brochure from the Family Child Learning Center.

    McGill, Patricia Smith (1999). You are not alone! [Online] Available http://www.babyparenting.about.com/library/weekly/blspecial.htm?COB=home&terms=you+are+not+alone&PM=113_300_T

    Medwid, Daria J and Weston, Denise Chapman (1995). Kid friendly parenting with deaf or hard of hearing children. Washington D.C.: Gallaudet University Press.

    Ogden, Paul W (1996). The silent garden: Raising your deaf child. Washington D.C.: Gallaudet University Press.

    Sloman, Leon M.D., FRCP(C), Springer, Stephen PhD, C Psych., Vachon, Mary R.N., PhD (1993). "Disordered communication and grieving in deaf member families." Family Process, 32 (2) , 171-183.

    Brandy (1999)Children with a hearing loss: "For families with d/hh children" [Online] Available http://www.brandysign.com/childhear.html
 
 

Synthesis:

I have the right:

• To take care of myself. This is not an act of self-centeredness. It will give me the ability to take better care of my child.
• To seek assistance from others. I realize that I am limited in knowledge, strength and endurance.
• To live my own life and do things for myself, just as I would if my child were hearing.
• To feel and express shock, guilt, anger, depression, helplessness and frustration.
• To reject any attempt by my child to manipulate me through guilt, anger, frustration or depression.
• To receive consideration, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance for what I do as long as I provide these qualities to my child.
• To take pride in my accomplishments in meeting the needs of my child.
• To be myself and make a life for myself that will keep me busy during the time when my child no longer requires my "full time" assistance.
• To expect and demand that as new steps are taken to aid children with disabilities, that similar steps will be taken to assist and support care givers.
• Engage in an open communication of feelings related to the hearing loss, unanswered questions, and dealing with the negative aspects of the loss (Sloman, Springer, and Vachon).
• Think of the child as one who happens to be deaf, rather then a "deaf child" (Sloman,et al).
• Think of deafness as a cultural issue, rather than a handicap. This helps families appreciate the positive aspects of deaf culture (Sloman, et al)
• Join a parent’s of deaf children support group or start your own (Medwid and Weston, 1995)
• Make several lists of people to call for help (friends, professional agencies, teachers, family, deaf adults, and other parents) (Medwid, et al and Ferris, 1980 ).
• Take breaks such as baths, naps, or weekend trips. Meeting your own needs to relax will help your sanity and allow more tolerance for the most difficult moments. "With your child depending on you for direction and guidance, you cannot do better than by first turning your attention to yourself (Ogden, 1996 p24 and Medwid et al).
• Continue your hobbies (Medwid, et al).
• Exercise on a regular basis, which provides an excuse to meet your own needs (Medwid et al).
• Find a peaceful place such as churches, parks, or lakes (Medwid, et al).
• Have "adult time" in which parents spend time with other adults (Medwid, et al)
• Encourage parents to ask their questions. Answering parental questions will help them move on (Medwid, et al).
• Assist parents in not responding emotionally or defensively when presented with information forcefully. There are many people that are very passionate about what they believe, but their beliefs may not be right for the family. Parents should simply listen to the content and reflect on how it affects the family (Medwid, et al).
• Keep daily routines as normal and consistent as possible (McGill, 1999).
• Encourage parent to keep a positive outlook on the situation (McGill, 1999)
• Help parents accept that there are some things we can change and some things we can’t (McGill, 1999).
• Recognizing the difference helps in accepting reality (McGill, 1999).
• Remind parents that over time the stress and emotions decrease (McGill, 1999)
• Locate the most appropriate learning environments for the child (FIN facts).
• Discourage parents from feeling self-pity. This only drives them deeper into negative emotions (McGill, 1999)).
• Tell parents to take one day at a time (FIN Facts)
• Never underestimate the child’s potential (FIN facts).
• Encourage a sense of humor. "Cracking up with laughter can keep you from cracking up from stress." (FIN facts).
• Parents should answer to their conscience before they attempt to answer their child or justify their decisions to others (FIN facts).

Many strategies have been listed because there is no one specific one that will help every family. Get aquainted with the family you are working with and determine which strategy will benefit them the most.

Bibliography

    Adams, John W. (1997) You and your deaf child. Washington D.C.: Gallaudet University Press.