Key Words: Instructional Strategies, Deaf Education, K-12
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Date: Tue, 27 Aug 1996 23:02:57 EDT
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Cathy Brandt Subject: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF Hi folks,
Tonight I did three of my four home visits. One of the students I have is
very immature for his age. In discussing this with the parents tonight they
both said they do recognize it. The mom asked me how do you help a child with
this.
I offered the - don't do FOR him what he can do for himself. That works a bit
more toward accepting responsibility which I believe will lead to maturity.
But, things like acting childish, interupting, being overly silly to get
attention, etc. are things I couldn't come up with specific TO DO or DON'T DO's.
Any ideas or thoughts on how to help a child become more mature?
Cathy - who should not schedule three home visits in one night - I'm brain
dead
Instructional Strategies Home Page Document: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 Date: Tue, 27 Aug 1996 23:38:04 -0400
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Brad Ingrao Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF Any possibility this kid is ADHD?
My son (Deaf) did the same things, often behaving 3-4 years below chronological age
(he's 6). After diagnosis and medication therapy, much improvement and a
great reduction in these behaviors.
Brad Ingrao
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Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 06:42:53 -0400
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
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From: randey Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF Hi Cathy,
Randey
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Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 06:03:02 -0500
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: KNPONGOR@GALLUA.GALLAUDET.EDU
Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF Hi Cathy,
Kathy Pongor
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Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 07:41:53 -0400
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Birgit Woelker Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF Hi Cathy,
Birgit
Dr. Birgit Woelker
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Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 09:20:17 EDT
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Cathy Brandt Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF In-Reply-To: Message of Tue, 27 Aug 1996 23:38:04 -0400 from
I would say we must say just about anything is a possibility. I don't
believe it is in this situation. From my point of view it is much more the
family environment, the way they interact, the way things are managed in
the home. It is my opinion that too much is done FOR the child and not
enough is expected FROM the child.
The child was identified late and lost the first four years of language
reception, exposure, etc. Thus in many respects he has only been experiencing
and "really" developing for the past five years. So, in that sense we might
say he is "developmentally appropriate" just not "chronologically or age
appropriate."
He plays with the three and four year olds in the neighborhood because
supposedly there are no children his age. However, at recess he is not
interested in playing with peers his age or playing age appropriate games.
Ideas?
Cathy - who is reminded again and again that I'm not a parent and thus don't
experience child rearing first hand
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Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 09:13:00 -0600
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: "Johnson, George (M&C Don)" Subject: Re: Maturity
I wonder if the child might need/want more one-on-one time with his
parents. Do they read with him, help him with lessons, etc? Just
spending personal time with him might help eliminate some of the
attention getting behavior.
George - just one dad's opinion
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Date: Wed, 28 Aug 1996 21:23:45 -0400
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Brad Ingrao Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF Cathy,
I think you hit the nail on the head. We all need to be looking at
developmental milestones relative to the kid's functional level. When a kid
has such a significant delay, chronologic norms must take a back seat to
realistic developmental goals.
Brad Ingrao
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Date: Thu, 29 Aug 1996 08:58:46 -0500
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Candace Krepel Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF In-Reply-To: I heartily agree with Birgit, with one caveat: limit the choices. One of
the things I have learned in 18 years of parenting is that the most
important thing in most situations is the presentation. For example,
"Would you like to have dessert first, then change into your sleep
clothes, or change first and eat your ice cream while I read you a
story?" The child is empowered, *but* either choice is acceptable to me.
Giving open-ended choices can create absolute chaos by the time they are
teens. (Even if you offer limited choices you will still find yourself
doing a lot of driving on the weekends, because their friends never live
in bike-riding distance!)
Candy Krepel
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Date: Thu, 29 Aug 1996 19:17:15 -0400
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Gina Tanza Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF Providing choices is a wonderful approach. With the class of preschoolers I
teach I usually offer two choices (i.e. in completing a project I may offer
white glue OR a glue stick). The power to choose is the child's. My goal
being the item be assembled, how is not as important. At home, if a parent
wants the child to drink milk with dinner, the choice wouldn't be "MILK OR
PEPSI", rather I'd offer "BLUE OR RED CUP".
Gina Marie Tanza
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Date: Fri, 30 Aug 1996 23:50:57 EDT
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: "LUCKER, JAY" Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF In-Reply-To: In reply to your message of Tue, 27 Aug 1996 23:02:57 EDT
Cathy,
Here's two persons' points of view regarding helping the parents of
the child about which you are concerned become more mature.
First, much of the behavior we see from children regardless of their
age is a reflection of what has been accepted by the parents. As for
the child in question, you described some behaviors which just are
socially and pragmatically inappropriate.
The parents need to establish acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for
the child, and make the child responsible for those behaviors -
rewarding the acceptable behaviors by attending to the child, and
responding to the behaviors and telling the child that they (the parents)
are proud that he/she is "doing what is correct" if you know what I
mean.
Now, when the child misbehaves, then there must be two consequences,
both immediate. One, the parents must not respond to the inappropriate
behavior, otherwise, this behavior will be reinforced; two, the child must
know that there is a consequence for the inappropriate behavior -
with the consequence immediate, age/chld appropriate, and with an
explanon, if possible from the child, why the child's behavior led
to that "punishment."
Believe me it works, but it requires mature parents who are willing
to be parents and not "best friends" to their children.
Dr.J!
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Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 00:15:05 EDT
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Cathy Brandt Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF In-Reply-To: Message of Fri, 30 Aug 1996 23:50:57 EDT from
I think it is often difficult for a mom to distinguish between being a "good
mom" and enabling a child. This does take maturity as well as other
characteristics which I don't know if I really know how to define.
I think we often see moms and dads who do FOR a kid because they simply and
sincerely want to "take care of" their child, provide a good environment,
and make life "good." However, I often think that depending upon the kid
many of these "well intentioned" things can cause problems.
One problem with which I struggle each year is having parents allow
their children to become responsible for their own homework. I want parents
to be involved in their child's work, to know what they are doing, to
discuss this and build on it throughout their family life. But, I DON'T want
the parents to do the homework FOR the child, hand-hold while the child does
it, taking the ownership or responsibility from the child. Nine to eleven year
olds can certainly be responsible for thier own homework.
To help with this I created a sheet this year which is basically a reminder
sheet which also communicates to me and the parents that the child understands
the homework. The child checks off each area in which he has homework. Then
he must check if a teacher has gone over his homework with him. And finally,
he must paraphrase or write "What I'm supposed to do at home." At the
bottom of the sheet the child is then to check if he finished the work or if
he worked for an hour but could not finish - and the reason why or why the
homework is not done at all.
This was my attempt to help the children accept more responsibility for their
own work. Today in the parent chat book which is basically a journal I am
keeping with the parents the MOM writes to me that ____ didn't understand how
to write the paragraphs retelling the story and that also he had not learned
the One Word of the Week (a vocab word which isn't a part of their spelling
assignment). Said she couldn't even think of a sentence in which to use the
word TEMPORARY!!!
I wrote back and said that this was a perfect example of an area where I
believed the child should be responsible for this information. He should have
filled out the sheet and brought it to me to discuss. *He* needs to be talking
to me about HIS homework, not mom.
Am I off base here. Parents, what do you think? Teachers? I told her to
feel free to discuss homework with me in the chat book. But, that I wanted
her to encourage the child to use the sheet to record what he didn't understand
and to talk with me about it.
I've actually gone through this with another set of parents - a bit different.
But, still similar homework issues. We've worked on this and now that it is
clear that the CHILD is responsible life at home during homework time is much
calmer and happy. Twice this week this child brought in work to ask me to
help her with it. She is so funny when she asks - reminds me of going to
the principal's office when I need help with various tasks. She's so
professional about it and takes it very seriously when we sit down to work
together.
But, SHE is the one determining when she doesn' understand, with what she
needs help and takes the responsibility to gain help. The World of the Week
is actually a week long assignment that is meant to develop interaction
between the parents and the students as the parents are to use it in their
conversations with the child without defining or explaining it. Each day
at school I give clues. They are to use various sources to determine the
meaning - parents, dictionaries or other reference material as well as context.
By the end of the year I want the above three to reverse in order as to where
the students goes first.
We also do a city of the week. The kids get to pick these from their week's
work or can do research on their own to come up with them. They love doing
the research to find this information. I learned this week that Philadelphia was
the largest city in Pennsylvania and the fifth largest city in the United
States. I'm still unsure about the latter one. I have to check her references
which for that one was the computer. :)
Enough of my rambling - good grief. All this to say that if folks have ideas
or thoughts about this homework responsibility issue, I'd love to hear from you.
Both parents know I've put the question to this list and do look forward to
getting all of the information I can gather (that's the initial question about
responsibility and maturity).
Cathy - who's really tired tonight
Instructional Strategies Home Page Document: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Date: Sat, 31 Aug 1996 16:25:34 -0400
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: John & Robin Henne Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF I absolutely DO NOT think that you're off base here. How will children
learn to handle big respnsibilities if they don't practice on smaller
ones from the very beginning? The hour that you allow for is certainly
reasonable for the age, you have mechanisms in place for checking
comprehension of the task, asking for help when needed, and deciding
when to stop because they've worked a reasonable amount of time. Seems
to me you've covered the bases.
Given half a chance I could go on and on embroidering the point, but
won't.... I do hope you have administrative support, since without it
you'll have a hard time following through, and children who are able to
get away with not doing the assigned work will learn a lesson different
from what's wanted.
Robin - sliding smoothly off her soapbox
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Date: Tue, 3 Sep 1996 08:26:36 -0500
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Candace Krepel Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF In-Reply-To: <960831.002552.EDT.CBRAN00@ukcc.uky.edu>
No, you are not off base. There are so many things that a child cannot do
for him/herself at that age, especially if the child has a disability and
needs additional advocacy. But, there are lots of things a child *can*
do. Certainly beginning to make choices among limited options, learning
to take responsibility for those choices, and, yes, falling on one's face
are all things that a child should be doing. It is far better for a
child to learn to take responsibility for homework in elementary school,
and accept the consequences of not choosing to do it, than to have to
learn that lesson in high school, when the stakes are much higher. It
might be easier for the parent to make excuses for the child, than to
teach the child (that takes a long time), but that strategy will not work
with the geometry teacher. I suspect that the parent just doesn't
understand that you really want the child to ask you, and perhaps, that
the child doesn't understand this either. Even though I'm sure you don't
regard yourself as an intimidating person Candy Krepel
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Date: Tue, 3 Sep 1996 13:00:00 -0600
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: "Johnson, George (M&C Don)" Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF I have a question. I understand the first paragraph. The second I am not
sure what is meant by, "the parents must not respond to the
inappropriate behavior". For example, our 22 month old son has started little
temper tantrums when he does not get his way. I assume you mean to not
respond by giving into his wants. But yet respond in a way to let him
know his behavior is not acceptable? Our daughter never went though
the "terrible twos" as some people say. So this temper stuff is a
little new for us. (Must be mom's side of the family.) BTW, I
personally don't think that it is appropriate to label any child's
behavior or development in such a way as "going through the terrible
twos" so please don't flame me for using the term. :-)
George
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Date: Wed, 4 Sep 1996 20:55:30 -0400
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Christofer deHahn Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF Also, does this child spend a reasonable amount of time with other children his
age, deaf or hearing? Maturity grows with expanding social skills (until their
teenagers 8^)).
Chris
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Date: Wed, 4 Sep 1996 21:31:35 -0400
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Christofer deHahn Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF I don't think you're off base, but I do wonder if the chat book is the right
vehicle for student-teacher communication. Ask the parent what they feel the
chat book is for. If they tell you that they think it's for parent-teacher
communication, then they weren't off base at all writing what they did in the
book. If the chat book is for student-teacher communication, or family-teacher
communication, then I would talk this out with the family. I'm sure it's just
a misunderstanding.
Chris
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Date: Wed, 4 Sep 1996 21:40:45 EDT
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Cathy Brandt Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF In-Reply-To: Message of Wed, 4 Sep 1996 21:31:35 -0400 from The Chat Book is for Parent-Teacher communication. Kids have their own
journals. It is my attempt to give them a vehicle to express their ideas and
concerns. Last year it seemed that 2-3 times a week particular parents would
call with questions, concerns etc. It's not that I minded parents calling at
home. But, it was becoming overwhelming. Additionally, MANY of the things
were things which the CHILD should have been dealing with and not mom.
The Chat Book has worked well thus far. Most of the parents only write
occasionally. But, I have one parent who typically writes daily.
The reason why I didn't think mom should be writing to tell me that is because
I want the CHILD to discuss homework with me and tell me when he/she doesn't
understand. This is to lead to asking the teacher in class when one doesn't
understand, asking the mainstream teacher for help, taking reponsibility for
one's own learning, etc.
It's actually fine for mom to tell me as long as the child discusses it with
me, too. But, if he/she knows mom will talk to me and figure it out then he
doesn't have to worry about it and he's not responsible for the information.
>communication, then I would talk this out with the family. I'm sure it's just
a misunderstanding.
I don't think it was. I think it was mom not expecting the child to come and
tell me about his own homework and thinking SHE should be the one doing it.
I happen to think she isn't.
Glad to have you back sharing with the list. :)
Cathy - who has a picture of this good looking 5.5 year old on her filing
cabinet - can't figure out who the geeky looking guy is with him, though
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Date: Wed, 4 Sep 1996 22:02:56 EDT
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Cathy Brandt Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF In-Reply-To: Message of Wed, 4 Sep 1996 22:03:10 -0400 from I did discuss this with the whole family during the home visit last week. It
is an area where they are trying to make progress - allowing the child to be
responsible for certain things. I happen to believe homework is one of those.
Yes, of course, parents should discuss any homework concerns they have with the
teacher if they are wanting to gain a better understanding of the work, why it
is being assigned, what is the overall goal, etc. But, in this case the mom
was clearly communicating something to me about the child's work. It is my
position/opinion/thought :) that whenever a parent communicates FOR a child
what he/she should be learning to do for him/herself then they are taking away
an opportunity for both language development and responsibility development.
Mom is in the habit of communicating FOR the child. I believe this is one
reason why he lacks maturity. And it's my opinion that was her purpose for
writing in the Chat Book - to tell me what he could and could not do. This
is something he should be doing himself. MHO
Cathy - who also has an adorable picture of this kid in a wave with these
two women sitting in front of him with one holding this GORGEOUS baby with an
equally gorgeous name!
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Date: Wed, 4 Sep 1996 22:03:10 -0400
Reply-To: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
Sender: A Practical Discussion List Regarding Deaf Education
From: Christofer deHahn Subject: Re: Maturity
To: Multiple recipients of list EDUDEAF I think that you should discuss it with her. If what you suspect is true,
then this is an issue that you should address with the whole family. If I
were the teacher I would want to make very sure that there were no
misunderstandings.
But I'm not a teacher, just a geek. 8^)
Chris
Uploaded by: Jessica Soltesz/Kent State University/Deaf Educaton Major
Document 2 of 20
Jax FL
Document 3 of 20
Interesting question... may I answer it with a question? Is this an
only child? I say that because it sometimes seems to me that parents will
become over protective and do more or let the deaf child get away with more
than they do their hearing siblings.
Document 4 of 20
In working with several kids like you described [silly behavior,
interrupting, etc.] I have some things that I use in the classroom that
might also be adopted at home. I have a growing chart that I put up in the
room. The kids cut out pictures of children at various ages and we place
them on the chart. We also have card with their names on it next to the
chart. I put a big star [or some other symbol] with each child's name on it
on the chart, next to their chronological age. Each time they demonstration
a behavior that is 'below' their age, I move their name to that level on
the chart. I don't say anything, just put their name there. If they
demonstrate behavior at or above their age level, I move their name to that
point, giving alot of verbal/visual praise and they also earn a reinforcer.
I find that helping the kids with a visual system really helps them
understand what is acceptable for their age and what is not. We also have
discussions about various types of behavior and why they are or are not
acceptable. After a while, in the classroom at least, the kids start to
monitor each other, reminding each other what is or is not age appropriate
behaviors. It also helps to model some appropriate strategies and practice
them with the kids for things like interrupting, acting silly to get
attention, etc. Often, kids don't always know what to do in those
situations. Hope this is useful!
KDES 3/4/5 Resource Teacher
[Yup, a new grade level for me!]
Document 5 of 20
What you are describing does not necessarily mean the child is immature. He
might act like a 3 year old because he wants to have some attention or
wants to control the situation. My daughter (now 6) acts sometimes like you
describe. We deal with it by giving her some "responsibility power", she
can for instance choose a silly character and decide what silly character
each family member has to play. She recognizes it as a game which lasts a
couple minutes and then is over. We take turns talking at home. She
has to recognize other people's turns. I involve her actively in decision
making. Even small decisions like what do you want to eat today, what to
want to wear, how to you like your hair, what sticker do you want on your
calendar, where do you want to sit, who do you want to visit, with whom do
you want to play this weekend..... all give her the power to decide and to
control the situation and to determine the outcome of it. It makes her very
proud to be actively involved in decision making and the result is she no
longer needs to determine the situation by disrupting other people in order
to get the permanent attention she desperately needs to fight her fear of
not understanding everything.
P.S. you can give this letter to the mom
____________________________________________________________________________
State University of New York
Department of Molecular Genetics
and Microbiology
Stony Brook, NY 11794-5222
phone: (516) 632-8798
Fax: (516) 632-8891
e-mail: birgit@asterix.bio.sunysb.edu Document 6 of 20
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Jax FL
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Chris deHahn.....CdH.....System, Network, CAE Administrator
Sun Microsystems, Inc....dehahn@tiac.net...'91 Buell RS1200
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Chris deHahn.....CdH.....System, Network, CAE Administrator
Sun Microsystems, Inc....dehahn@tiac.net...'91 Buell RS1200
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Chris deHahn.....CdH.....System, Network, CAE Administrator
Sun Microsystems, Inc....dehahn@tiac.net...'91 Buell RS1200